I'm Done
by TeamTamAndJannyFTW
Summary: After splitting up from Jonny, Jac sees no other reason to keep on living so she diecides to take her own life. Will Jonny find her before it's too late? And will Jac survive? Reviews would be appericated, rated K for suicide theme.
1. Chapter 1

Dear Jonny,

This is probably the hardest thing I've ever had to write but I know when you find this and you find me. I will be gone. I know you will be full of questions about why I'm doing this and I wish I could tell you and give you all the answers that you need but I can't so I'm here writing this because I feel as if my final goodbye should be to you. I want you to know that this isn't your fault. Its mine. I know I shouldn't have pushed you away and I know I should have told you things. But I find it so hard to open up. Nothing matters anymore since you've been gone. Maybe I'm just depressed and should snap out of this but I haven't. Everyday just gets worse. Seeing you, working with you and not being able to hold you is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I pushed you away because I couldn't find the heart to tell you I may not possibly be able to have children. That's why I pushed you away because I know you want a family and I know there's a chance I wouldn't be able to give you that. So I let you go. And it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. But know I did this for you. Because I want you to be happy. I want you to find someone that will love you and care for you in the way that I never could. Don't blame yourself. It's not your fault.

Love now and always.

Jac xx

Jac wiped away her tears as she folded the piece of paper in half before placing it inside an envelope. Sealing it shut. Before she turned it over and wrote Jonny on the front. She was going to leave it in a place she knew whoever would find her would pass it onto him. And he would read it. Before she picked up the bottle of vodka she had brought earlier in the evening along with a cocktail of drugs and pills.

Having saved Joseph from an overdose a few years ago Jac never thought for a spilt second she too would find herself in this position. But Joseph had overdosed due to the stress of his job. Jac however was because she was unstably suicidal and she had nothing left to live for. She'd pushed Jonny away and now she was paying the price for it.

She unscrewed the lid of the bottle before picking up the bag of pills. Before she took two gulps and swallowed a handful of pills. With a few more sips and a few more drugs. As she took them. She waited for them to take affect. She knew it wouldn't take long. And she was grateful for that. She took another hand full with another gulp. And this time she felt the affects coming. Slowly her vision became blurred.

Head pounding. She felt the urge to be sick. But wasn't as she took another gulp of alcohol. Her mind turning into blackness and she fell to the floor of her living room. As she waited for death to come...


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter Two._

_One Month Previously_

Jac arrived at work that morning on her bike. She cut the ignition of it before locking up. She took her helmet off as she did so before slipping off her bike and onto her feet. Clutching her helmet. As she walked along the car park she noticed Jonny's ford which wasn't too far away from the entrance. And she could see him in the peace garden and he wasn't alone. He had a lady friend with him. Well Jac thought she was just a friend until she noticed Jonny leaning in and kissing her. Her heart hit the floor with an thud. Shattering into a thousand pieces, he'd moved on.

They'd only been spilt up a month and he already moved on! How dare he. She thought. Surely she deserved some dignity and he waited at least more then a month. But if he was able to move on that quick then why the hell wasn't she? She sighed to herself as she walked on by not making any eye contact with Jonny as she walked passed the peace garden. But he noticed her anyway. And quickly got to his feet. To catch up with her.

"Jac" He started.

"Don't call me Jac" she snapped.

"Listen I was going to tell you..." Jonny trailed off.

"That you've moved on? I see that, I hope you're very happy together." Jac said coldly before carrying on walking away but Jonny grabbed her by the hand.

"Jac, you threw us away. I wasn't going to hang around and wait for you to make up your mind whether you wanted to be together or not. You had your chance" Jonny muttered harshly

Hearing Jonny say these words really stung Jac could feel the tears at the back of her eyes and a lump present in her throat. And she bit it back when she spoke.

"I thought you would wait a while. Not jump into another relationship straight after us. Didn't I mean anything to you?" Jac almost nearly shouted.

"You meant the world to me Jac, but there were too many issues between us" Jonny said sternly

"Issues? Oh enlighten me" Jac said sarcastically

"Where do I start, your insults, your denial of our relationship. You keeping me in the dark. Not telling me things, walking all over me whenever you felt like it, and you expected me to accept it. And not forgetting you slapped me! Do you want me to carry on?" Jonny said angrily

Jac felt like her heart had been ripped out and not only that it felt like Jonny was standing on it. Crushing it to pieces.

"I'm sorry Jonny" Jac muttered

"It's too late Jac" Jonny said before walking away and leaving her stood there. Jac could feel the tears threatening to fall. Not wanting people to see her in this state she left where she was stood and headed into the entrance. To see an eager Doctor Lowe.

"Ms Naylor I was wondering if you-" Tara started.

"Not now Doctor Lowe!" Jac shouted a little too loud and a little too harshly as everyone in the hospital café turned to see what had happened.

"What you all looking at?" Jac snapped at the glances. People returned to what they were doing. She got into the lift and pressed the button for Darwin furiously. As the lift headed up to the ward. The tears were started to fall. She wiped them away furiously before the lift reached the ward. She got out and headed into the toilets. Locking herself into a cubicle. Hoping to have a few minutes alone.


	3. Chapter 3

_Chapter Three_

Jonny cut the ignition of his car. He had found himself outside of Jac's he had driven here in a moment of madness, he had argument with his girlfriend and with that he had gone out in a temper and drove and somehow he found himself parked outside Jac's apartment. As his mobile rang for like the thousandth time Jonny left it to ring. He should never have got with her and he knew that now. His heart ached for Jac's touch but could they really find a way to save they're relationship? Jonny sighed to himself before he got out of his car.

Leaving his mobile in there before locking up his car. And he headed up the drive way to Jac's apartment. Would she want to see him after the way he'd spoken to her? He wouldn't be surprised if he learnt himself another slap. None the less as he walked up the pathway he noticed the living room light on which meant Jac was in and she was still awake.

Jonny rang the doorbell and waited. Nothing, so he rang it again a few minutes later, still nothing. Was this Jac sending him a message that she didn't want to know. Or didn't want to see him. When he rang the bell for the third time still nothing, suddenly Jonny felt something was seriously wrong. So he lifted the letterbox up and decided to see if by calling her name she'd answer.

"Jac, Jac its Jonny. Can we talk?" He called out. Still nothing, he sighed. He began to walk away when he had a look through the living room window. It was strange for Jac to leave the curtains open. But he looked in and Jonny was right to be concerned he could see Jac on the living room floor. Lying lifeless. Panic and concern quickly washed over him. As he ran around to the front door and gave it a kick. Almost dislocating his shoulder in the process after giving the front door two big kicks it came free and Jonny dashed in side. He quickly ran over to Jac. To check for a pulse. There was one but it was weak. Before he looked around and could see a half drank bottle of vodka with a bag full of tablets.

Oh Jac what have you done. Jonny thought.

Jonny quickly placed Jac into the recovery position before he rummaged for his mobile mentally slapping himself for leaving it in his car he quickly dashed outside and literally ran down the path to retrieve his mobile before he quickly dialled the emergency services.

_"What service do you require?" said the service voice._

_"Ambulance" Jonny said as he waited for the call to connect. It took a few moments for it to connect to the ambulance control room_

_"What seems to be the problem sir?" asked the operator _

_"My… Friend has overdosed you have to hurry" Jonny told the operator_

_"Is the patient breathing?" asked the operator. _

_"Yes but pulse is extremely weak. Please you've got to hurry" Jonny told the operator. _

_"Okay, help is on its way, is the patient in recovery position?" asked the operator. _

_"Yes. I'm a nurse." Said Jonny. _

_"Okay I just need you to confirm the address 15 Sandown street, Holby?" asked the operator_

_"Yes, Yes, Please tell them to hurry" Jonny said. His concern thick in his throat. _

_"Sir, help is on it's way, Please wait outside the house to greet the paramedics" said the operator._

_"Right thank you" Jonny muttered as he ended the call._

Jonny kept a firm check on Jac's breathing. He looked around and picked up the bag of tablets knowing that whoever took Jac's care would have to know what she'd taken. How long had she been unconscious for?

Was he too late? He didn't like to think. He was suddenly pulled out of his thoughts when he saw blue flashing lights, he quickly went to greet the paramedics. As they took over Jac's care and Jonny gave them all the important information it was soon the paramedics had strapped Jac onto a trolley and wheeled her down the pathway as Jonny followed every step of the way. He got in beside Jac and grabbed hold of her hand as the ambulance sped off towards the hospital.

"Jac you've got to hang on in there. I hope your listening to me, You've got to hang on in there, don't you dare give up on me. Understand I'll never leave you again. But you've got to hang in there okay. Please Jac. I need you" Jonny muttered he could feel the tears threatening to fall.

He only hope was he wasn't too late.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Sorry for the delay in updating. Here is the next chapter, Enjoy J **

The ambulance soon arrived outside Darwin ward as the paramedics got out from around the front to open the back doors. They were soon opened to reveal Jonny and the trolley. Jonny didn't let go of Jac's hand as the trolley were wheeled into the department.

The Paramedic to Jonny's right filling in the waiting nurse. "Jacqueline Naylor, overdosed on paractomol and codeine, was unconscious when arrived on scene. SATS 60, BP 80 over hundred" said the paramedic. And with that Michael took over from the awaiting nurse. He didn't need to introduce himself to the patient since he knew Jac.

"Right I want bloods" Michael asked the nurse. He needed to know just what exactly was lurking around in Jac's system. What she'd taken and how much. As he took over her care. Jonny watched from the sidelines helpless. He wouldn't have been able to help anyway because he was close to Jac.

"Can I get a theatre slot as soon as possible" Michael ordered another nurse. He knew the side affects of an overdose and just what damage it could do to the organs. And since he knew Jac only had one kidney there was more chance of an internal bleed. Once all the other checks were done. Theatre was free for Jac as the trolley was wheeled down the hallway there was only so far Jonny could do

Michael stopped in his tracks as the other nurses carried on taking Jac's trolley down. He looked at Jonny. "Don't worry Jonny Jac's in the best hands possible. We will do everything we can,. I promise you" Michael said. "Yes I know" Jonny muttered. The panic still thick in his voice,

"I have to ask though do you know why Naylor tried to kill herself?" Michael asked.

"Yes…Me" Jonny answered.

Michael raised his eyebrow at this comment but he bit it back and carried on.

"What do you mean?" Michael asked.

"We broke up. She slapped me and I walked away. I had no idea she was planning this." Jonny said.

Michael was going to say wow you and Naylor. Naylor and a nurse, that's a first. But thought better off it.

"Have we contacted next of kin?" Michael asked suddenly this time Chrissie answered.

"Don't need to, he's stood next to you" Chrissie said looking at Jonny. And looking at Jac's file. Before pulling out an interesting looking document. "Michael?" Chrissie asked, "Yeah?" Michael asked

"You need to see this" Chrissie said pulling out the document from Jac's folder once Jonny had left to fetch a coffee. Michael took it out of Chrissie's hand and looked at it. His mouth dropping to the floor before he looked at Chrissie. She looked back at him.

"Do you think Jonny should know?" she asked.

Michael nodded.

**So what do you think Chrissie and Michael have discovered? All will be revealed in the next chapter J **


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: BTW left on another cliff hanger. Just so you're warned. And you might hate me after this chapter. But I've always known this fic will have a sad ending. _

_"_What are we going to do? We can't let Jonny find out for himself. Someone needs to tell him" Chrissie explained. "Don't you think I don't know that?" Michael exclaimed looking at her. They had been wondering whether it was a good idea to tell Jonny what they'd discovered. "Let me have another look at it" Michael said again and he had another look at the document. He looked at the date. It was signed nearly two weeks ago. He looked at Jac's signature before looking at the witness one. _Elliot. _

Had Elliot known what Jac was planning or had he not any idea? Ether way Michael was going to have to ask him. So he paged him and waited. While they waited for Elliot Michael looked out his office window and could see Jonny sat nursing a cup of coffee completely unaware that his world was about to come crashing down further.

Elliot soon arrived to Michael's office and headed inside. "You paged me?" Elliot asked. "Yes as you're probably aware Jac is currently in theatre after attempting to kill herself, but we found something rather interesting in Jac's medical file and we looked at it and noticed the witness signature and we believe you witnessed it?" Michael asked.

"Ahh" Elliot spluttered.

"Did you know what Jac was planning?" Michael asked.

"No. all she said to me was she was thinking of having one in the unfortunate event something would happen to Jac" Elliot exclaimed.

"Right" Michael muttered at this new information.

"Someone needs to tell Jonny" Chrissie said again.

"Yes but who?" Michael asked scornfully.

"Sacha, Mo?" Elliot offered

"I think it's best it comes from Mo, she's Jonny's best mate, he's more likely to listen to her" Chrissie exclaimed

"Right Page Her and tell her it's urgent" Michael said. Chrissie nodded in doing so.

"How is Jac doing?" Elliot asked.

"She's in theatre at the moment. Actually I should be down there" Michael said suddenly.

He quickly headed down to theatre, and got scrubbed up. And headed into theatre to see Ms Campbell and Oliver Valentine working on Jac. "Ahh Mr Spence finally makes an appearance" Serena said sarcastically.

"There's been a development" Michael said.

"That sounds serious" Serena muttered

But before Michael could answer her Jac went into VF.

Oliver went to fetch the paddles but Michael stopped him.

"Don't" Michael muttered.

"She's going to go into cardiac arrest" Oliver exclaimed

"I know but if we attempt resuscitate Jac, it will be against her wishes" Michael explained.

"Are you telling me Ms Naylor signed a Do Not Attempt Resuscitate Order?" Serena chipped in.

"I'm afraid so, she went to see Elliot two weeks before and he signed as witness" Michael explained.

"Oh the poor duck" Serena said. She'd always liked Jac despite what people thought.

"Such a shame" Ollie muttered as all three watched the monitor as Iac did in deed go into cardiac arrest.

"Does Nurse Macoine know about the order?" Serena asked Michael.

"Miss Effanga is breaking it to him now. We thought it was best since she's Jonny's best mate and she's probably the only one he'll listen to" Michael explained.

"Who's going to call it?" Ollie asked pure sadness thick in his voice.

"I will if you both agree" Serena chipped in, Michael and Oliver both nodded before they both looked down at Jac.

"Time of death, 8:30pm" Serena called

"Sleep tight Naylor" Michael muttered.

While Serena and Oliver went to get changed so did Michael before soon enough all three headed back up to Darwin ward the sadness could be felt in the ward. As Serena went back to her office and Oliver went to finish his rounds. Jac was sure as hell going to be missed.

Meanwhile Michael approached Jonny and Mo who were chatting on the chairs. This was going to be the hardest news Michael had probably had to break.

"Have you informed him?" Michael asked Mo.

"I just about to" Mo said unaware that Jonny had heard her,

"Inform me of what?" Jonny asked them both.

"Jonny.. I'm sorry to have to tell you.."


	6. Chapter 6

_Meanwhile Michael approached Jonny and Mo who were chatting on the chairs. This was going to be the hardest news Michael had probably had to break._

_"Have you informed him?" Michael asked Mo._

_"I just about to" Mo said unaware that Jonny had heard her,_

_"Inform me of what?" Jonny asked them both._

_"Jonny... I'm sorry to have to tell you..."_

"Jonny I'm sorry to have to tell you, but Jac didn't make it. I'm so sorry" Michael started, he looked at Jonny to read his expression. It changed, the colour drained from Jonny's face at the news. And before Michael and Mo knew it. Jonny was shouting.

"YOU PROMISED YOU WOULD DO EVERYTHING IN YOUR POWER TO SAVE HER. YOU LIED" Jonny screamed at Michael. "Jonny we tried everything we could-"Michael started to protest. "No, it obviously wasn't enough other wise she would still be here" Jonny snapped. Mo placed a hand on his shoulder but Jonny shrugged it off before getting to his feet and walking away. Mo went to go after him but Michael stopped her. "He needs time alone to digest the news" Michael said.

Jonny Walked and walked until he was out of the hospital. He carried on walking, he didn't care where he went. Just he kept on walking. He carried on until his legs could take no more and he collapsed on the pavement in sobs. His Jac was gone, she was gone…

He wasn't ever going to see her again, hear her voice, and hear her shout at her F1's when they got something wrong. Or hear her sarcastic comments that he always loved. It was too much to take.

Eventually once his tears had stopped falling Jonny got to his feet there was something he had to do. Go to Jac's apartment. Something had to be there to explain her actions. Was it really the time to ransack her apartment? It had to be done at some point he knew that. Or maybe he should leave it for a few days.

He soon walked back to the hospital and sat himself in the peace garden wanting to gather his thoughts but as he did so he was hit by a flashback.

_"This isn't a proposal is it?" Jac asked as she sat herself down on the chair with her coffee in hand. _

_"A proposition, Move In With Me" Jonny replied._

_"Did they put crack in your coffee?" Jac replied._

Jonny smiled at that memory at least he had lots of them memories to remember Jac by. But as much as he would cling onto these memories it'll never be enough. Jonny was so lost in thought that he hadn't noticed that someone had sat themselves down next to him.

Mo placed a hand on his shoulder and this movement caused Jonny to stir from his thoughts and he looked at his friend. She knew him better then anyone.

"Jonny I know this isn't the time but there's something you should know" Mo said calmly.

"What's that?" Jonny asked.

"Are you sure you want to do this now?" Mo asked.

"Well whatever it is, it can't be that bad. Its not like it's going to bring her back is it?" Jonny retorted.

"Well if you're sure" Mo said.

"Yes, just spit it out." Jonny said

"Okay, Erm I'm not really sure how to tell you, but Michael and Chrissie discovered something not long after Jac had been taken to theatre. They discovered that..." Mo paused for a moment. She looked at her friend. She could see that he was hurting despite that he was trying to hide it.

"Discovered what?" Jonny asked raising an eyebrow.

"Jac signed a DNATR form..." Mo finally said it.

Jonny snapped to his feet. Before he looked at Mo. With a furious glint in his eyes.

"You're telling me this NOW?" Jonny exclaimed

"I knew this wasn't the best time to tell you" Mo stuttered.

"And Michael knew about this? And he didn't think to tell me?" Jonny snapped.

"I was going to tell you before Michael interrupted about Jac." Mo exclaimed.

Jonny was up on his feet and he stormed off,

"Jonny where are you going?" Mo called after him.

"Giving that Michael Spence a piece of my mind" Jonny retorted before heading inside and up to Darwin. Jonny waited impatiently before the lift finally made it up to Darwin and he got out. He looked around for Michael and found him dealing with a patient.

"How could you?" Jonny shouted angrily

"Excuse me?" Michael asked.

"You knew about the form and you did nothing about it!" Jonny snapped.

"Jonny lets take this into my office a bit more private" Michael suggested.

"No. I've got nothing to say to you. I'll never forgive you for this," Jonny retorted.

"Jonny if I attempted resuscitate Jac, it would have been against her wishes. Don't you see, she wanted to die" Michael said.

Maybe Michael should have thought better about what he said because he didn't have any chance to react as Jonny punched him hard. A horrible crunching sound coming from his nose.

"That was for Jac, you murdering scum" Jonny spat before he walked away.


End file.
